You're With the Wrong Man, Helga
by Jane Doe1111
Summary: Arnold moved away years ago, and as time passed Helga moved on. She is now 'average.' An average student with an average life - what everyone wants to be, Right? Then why does her world unravel at the sound of his name...?   ALL of chapter 3 now up! Oops.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys. Found this idea in my head, Check it out.

I do not own Hey Arnold. If I did, this would not be fanfiction.

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"Here you go, big boy. Eat up."

"Wow, thanks, Helga! You're the best!" Harold scarfed down the meal Helga had set before him. She had prepared (read: warmed up) a serving of mashed potatoes and meatloaf. In a rare show of competency, Miriam had left enough meals for Helga to last the duration of her second honeymoon with Bob. Miriam apparently forgot that Olga no longer lived with them, and had prepared a double serving of each meal. Helga could never eat it all, and frequently invited her boyfriend over for dinner.

Helga sat across from Harold, watching him happily obliterate the meal. She slowly picked at hers. For the thousandth time that day, she felt 'uninspired.' She had no drive to do anything anymore, she was simply existing, rather than living,

"You okay? You're not eatin' anything, wassa matter?" Harold had stopped eating, mid chew, to talk. He sat there like a cow with his mouth open, waiting for her to respond.

"Oh. Sorry. Yeah, I'm fine... It's just a little hot, waiting for it to cool down." Her quick reply satisfied Harold, who went back to devouring the mashed potatoes.

They ate rest of their meal in silence, each too lost in their thoughts to notice the other.

Once the meal was finished, Harold meandered into the living room and turned on the tv. _I guess we do become attracted to people like our fathers..._Helga walked to the couch and sat beside Harold, who put an arm around her. They watched as the Terminatrix pile-drived the Scorpion into the wrestling mat, enjoying the otherwise comfortable silence.

Maybe she didn't love him, not in the way that she felt for... ice cream, _God, I can't even say his name anymore..._ but that was normal, right? First loves are always so passionate, the next cannot compare, right? She stiffened as his hand drifted lower, and moved away.

"C'mon Helga... we haven't... you know..." _yeah, I know,_ "in foreverrrrr." He moved in again, sloppily kissing her face. _I guess it has been a while... might as well..._ She reluctantly began reciprocating his touch when a buzzing in her pocket distracted them. "Hellllgaaaa, leave itttttt." He knew she wouldn't, she never did when Phoebe sent her messages, but he always begged, just in case.

Helga looked at her pouting boyfriend, kissed him on the forehead, and walked to the entryway.

_Message from Pheebs,_

_911 _

That was their code. Whenever something drastic was about to occur, she would send '911' and would wait for Helga to respond. That way, their messages could not be intercepted by others, and were deleted almost immediately after reading.

_Message from Helga:_

_whats wrong, Pheebs?_

_Message from Pheebs_

_He's coming back, he's finally coming back! He called Gerald and said he's moving back!_

The bottom of Helga's stomach plummeted into her shoes. Adrenaline flushed through her veins and her hair practically stood on end. _Can't be true can't be him no no no no no no not true..._

_Message from Helga:_

_Who?_

_Message from Pheebs:_

_Who do you think? Arnold! Arnold is coming back! Isn't that great?_

Helga stood there, dumbfounded. _No, It's not great, I don't care that he's coming back. That was 5 years ago, I moved on. I have a life now, I have a boyfriend, I'm an average student, I'm not pining over someone who would never return my affections, I'm finally normal. _She proved her resolve by taking the battery out of her phone and throwing the two at the wall. _No more distractions._

She walked back to where Harold was sitting. "Everything okay, Helga?"

"Yeah, Pheebs just wanted to know something about condoms. You know her and Gerald..." _why am I lying? _Her tone changed. "Speaking of which... Let's go upstairs..."

As they fornicated _why can't I say 'make love? Or just... fucked? Why does everything have to be so clinical?_ Helga used every bit of willpower she had to think of nothing but the act. There was nothing but them, they were alone in the world, and no one cared for them but them. When they finished and collapsed into her sheets, they were too tired to think of anything. Harold dreamed of food as he snuggled up to his lover, while Helga's sleep was restless. She tricked her waking mind into forgetting, but in Morpheus's realm, there was nothing she could do but succumb to the troubled dreams he gave her, filled with visions of green eyes, yellow footballs and melting sundaes.

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End chapter 1

Dun-dun-dunnnnnnn

What will happen next?

R&R, smooches.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews, friends! Even more will make me type even faster!

I do not own Hey Arnold.

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Chapter 2

"So I told Stinky that he was being ever so kind, but I just couldn't possibly accept his offer. I want to focus on myself right now, you know? I want to raise my grades and join some extra curricular activities for colleges. Well, not for colleges – for me, but they do look ever so nice on college applications, right, Helga? … Helga?"

"... … … huh? Oh. Right. Yeah, college applications, sounds great, Lila."

"Helga, are you feeling alright? You've been ever so distracted since class this morning. Did you not sleep well? … … … … Helga?" Lila waved her hands in front of Helga's face, trying to get her attention.

"Aw, leave her alone, Lila, She and Harold were probably busy _alllll niiiight._ Right?" Sid snickered, and Lila blushed at his lewd suggestion.

"... … … Huh? Yeah... we were at it all night." Helga stood up lazily and walked to the trash can to dispose her lunch, missing the stream of milk shoot out of Sid's nose in shock at her blatant admittance. She had been in her own world since the text message, any outsider would think she were drunk with the way she carried on, tripping over her own feet, clumsily staggering through the halls. She had yet to look Phoebe in the eyes, which had not gone unnoticed.

_Get it together, girl. So what if .. he... is coming back, what does it matter? _"Sorry, Curly." _Stop bumping into people, they're going to think you're nuts! And they'd be right! A boy you used to know is moving back home and you're wandering around like you're concussed, stop it! _"Sorry, Stinky," _You did it again, Dimwit! Just chill out, just breathe. He's just some guy I used to know. And I have a boyfriend. He probably doesn't even remember who I am anymore,anyway, why would he? We only... saved the neighborhood and wandered around on Thanksgiving together... and did that science project together, and Dr. Bliss said my feelings for- _"Sorry, Nadine," _him were just transference anyway because my parents suck and my sister sucks and my life sucks... No it doesn't. My life doesn't suck. It's completely normal. I am completely normal. Every teenager has these ideas and what I felt for him was just chemicals in my head and were a result of poor upbringing. I have much more in common with Harold than I had with... that guy... Hell, I probably have more in common with the singing fruitcake Eugene than I had with Ar..nnnguh, I can't even think that boy's stupid name, what the hell _"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, LORE-... I mean. Sorry, Lorenzo." _Okay, just shut up. Just stop thinking about everything and "_LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING, EUG-...Sorry, Eugene, I uh. I'll watch where I'm going." _Yeah... that. Look where you're going, Helga, just get it together. Just breathe. _

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Thousands of miles away, a tall blond teenager rode an airplane alone, making a list of things to do when he returned to his old neighborhood. First, he had to see his grandparents, that was certain. Then he had to wander around town for at least an hour to regain his bearings and to see what had changed. Along the way, he would probably see at least SOMEONE he knew, so he could catch up on any big hews. Then he had to find Gerald and catch up with him. Then he'd track down his friends. He couldn't wait to see them all, Gerald, Sid, Stinky, Harold, Lila, Phoebe, Hel... A knot formed in his stomach. Was he looking forward to seeing Helga? All the teasing she had done left a serious impression, and he wasn't looking forward to that... He had always known there was more than met the eye to Helga G. Pataki, and had reasoned out on his own why she did certain things, but largely, Helga was still a mystery to him.

"Sugar, I need you to put your tray up and your seat up, we're gonna start our descend now." A matronly woman with an enormous Bouffant walked by with her cart, collecting garbage from the other fliers. Arnold checked his watch, time really had gone by.

How much time had gone by at home? What had changed, and what had stayed the same?

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Helga stood before her locker, trying to open it for the 23rd time. Every time she got one of the numbers right, she would lose track of the combination and have to start over again. Phoebe bounded down the hall towards Gerald, who stood on the opposite side of the hallway.

"Gerald! We got the okay from Arnold's grandparents! He's coming back tonight, so we don't have a lot of time to plan, but they're setting up decorations now. All that we need to do is bring food."

"Sounds good, babe. Wanna pool money now and head over after school?"

"That's a wonderful idea, Gerald. I'll go ask around." Phoebe turned away from her boyfriend and saw Helga at her locker. "Helga! We're throwing a surprise party for Arnold, would you like to come? We need some people to pitch in for food so-" 

"Can it, Pheebs." Her cold, short words cut Phoebe off, who was shocked at her friend's behavior. "I have no interest in attending a party for... _him._ And I don't have any cash to spare. Used it all."

"Oh... are you sure, Helga? It's his first night back, I'm sure he would be happy to see you, to see all of us!" Her bright eyes and happy demeanor only further hardened Helga's expression.

"No. I don't care. Even if he _wanted_ to see me, I don't want to see him. Got it?" Helga stormed off, finally giving up on her locker.

"...Helga..."

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"Grandma! Grandpa! I'm home! Arnold opened the door and ran into the arms of his grandparents.

"Oh, Kimba! It's so wonderful to have you back from safari! I have your room all ready and-"

"Pookie, it's my turn!" Phil playfully shoved Gertie out of the way, and embraced his grandson in a tight hug. "Your grandma's right, your room is all ready for you. By the way... you should check out the roof. The radio said there would be a meteor shower tonight." He grinned, almost unable to contain the secret.

Arnold nodded in excitement and bounded up the stairs. He climbed to the roof and looked around. In the moonlight, he saw that his grandmother had added to the roof – a few chairs, a few tables... wait a minute...

"SURPRISE! WELCOME HOME!" Lights flashed on and Arnold saw the faces of his old friends. Arnold was stunned. A crowd formed around him – lead by Gerald, all waiting for hugs and to welcome him. As he looked around, he saw lights, giggling friends, Curly setting up fireworks – nothing was missing. Well, it didn't look like anything was missing. Something still felt missing...

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Helga sat on her bed, looking out the window. Now, everyone was probably on _his_ roof, have a good time, while she sat here, alone. Even Harold had gone. If he had gone, she should have gone, then he would have seen that... what, that she had moved on? Why would he care that she had moved on, or even know what she had moved on _from?_ _I'm so freaking stupid, criminy... I need to clear my head. _

She got up, put on a jacket, and walked out the door. "I'll be back late," she spoke to the empty house, "don't wait up."

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"'Ey! We're out of ice! Who wants to get some more!" Gerald's strong voice rang out across the roof.

"I'll go, Gerald. I need to remember where everything is, you know?" Despite several protestations, Arnold climbed down from the roof and ran to retrieve more ice.

On his way back from the store, he found himself pondering what was missing. Lila was there, Stinky, Gerald, Phoebe, Harold, Rhonda, Curly, Helga... wait. Had Helga been there? He hadn't seen the distinctive pink bow, but she probably stopped wearing it. It WAS a long time ago... Lost in reverie, he rounded the corner – right into someone.

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_Okay, so his house is in this general direction, that doesn't mean I'm 'going to his house,' because I'm not. I don't want to go to that stupid 'welcome home' party. This isn't his home. His home is far away from me – anywhere that is very far away from me. So no, I'm not welcoming him home. I'm just out for a walk. Maybe I'll get some ice cr... frozen yogurt. Or a smoothie. That sounds good, I'll just go to Slausen's, and order a milkshake. I'll just turn the corner and _"Oof!"

Suddenly she was on the ground, having walked straight into something tall and blond. As the streetlight flickered, she could see the details in his face. That surprised expression, those green eyes...

Her body froze.

_No..._

"Oh man, are you okay?" He reached down and held out a hand for her, a warm smile on his face. _There's that blind fucking altruism, goddamnit NO!_

"I'm fine. Thanks." Helga stood on her own, arms folded across her chest.

"Are you sure? I could walk you home if you'd like-"

"I said I'm fine. No thank you." She turned her head so he would not see her lip tremble.

"Okay, okay. Man, I am really sorry! I was out getting some ice, I just got back in town and my friends threw me a party and I wasn't paying attention and... I'm sorry." He let out a goofy smile and scratched the back of his head, chuckling.

"Right. Well. Have fun at your party. Wel... Welcome back." She turned on a dime and walked home.

_Helga? _

She stopped. She could have sworn she heard his voice, calling her name. That delicious sound froze her to her core. She mustered the will to move once more, and ran.

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Arnold watched her walk away, listening to her footsteps echo down the lonely street. He was sad to see her go, there was something very familiar about her... something he couldn't place. She was slim with light blonde hair that fell in light waves around her shoulders. She didn't look much older or younger than he was, did he know her? There was something so familiar about her... especially her eyes... He saw recognition in her eyes when she was on the ground, her eyes were wide open... bright blue eyes... wait...

"Helga?"

The footsteps stopped. _So it is her! _He walked forward to catch up, but the footsteps started up again, faster. She was running away from him.

"Helga!"

Nothing. The dark street stared back at him, the sound of her footsteps becoming ever quieter. Slightly dejected, he picked up the bag of ice and continued back to the boarding house. "Maybe someone there will know what that was all about..."

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End Chapter 2

R&R, smooches.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey friends. This chapter gave me some trouble – hopefully it doesn't show x_x

I hope you enjoy!

Edit: Whoops! I submitted this premature! I added in a new section at the end. Check it out!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold.

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Chapter three

The party continued well into the night after Arnold's return. Well into the wee hours of the morning, the party dwindled down. After Curly's fireworks, and subsequent visit by the fire department, several members had gone home for the evening, leaving Gerald, Phoebe, Sid, and Harold.

"Man, so what took you so long comin' back with the ice? You get lost?" Gerald lightly chided Arnold, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Nah, I think I ran into Helga though. She's still around, right?" Harold and Phoebe fell silent – a fact which went unnoticed by Sid and Gerald.

"Yeah, she's still around. She's mellowed out a looot since you left. She barely raises her voice at all, let alone threatens people with 'Ol' Betsy.' Probably got medicated or something. Gerald chuckled at his own joke. Harold flushed as Sid cackled.

"Having Harold give it to her on a regular basis probably has something to do with it too! Bwahaha!"

"SID! That's disgusting! Can't you think about anything but Helga's personal life for one-" Phoebe's outrage was cut short by a swift and angry punch to Sid's nose by an enraged Harold, who stormed off the roof. Arnold stared in shock at the scene that had played in front of him.

Gerald knelt beside Sid, "Dude, that was damb-ass move. Not bold, just dumb."

"Shut up, Gerald! I think he broke my nose!"

"You shouldn't have been talkin' trash about him and Helga. Your own fault, man."

"Woah woah woah." Arnold sputtered in shock. "Helga and Harold are... _a thing?_ Like, _Dating?_"

"They've been dating for approximately 4 years and 7 months." Phoebe returned with a pack of ice for Sid, who promptly left.

"How... that's just a few months after I left..." Arnold was confused. Had there been 'something' between them that he had missed? Something strong enough to keep them together for nearly 5 years?

"Funny thing about that. Helga got _real_ weird after you left. I mean, I doubt it had anything to do with you, man, but she got _weird. _She stopped talking to people, Phoebe said she stopped eating, and I'm pretty sure she stopped sleeping. But then one day she showed up, fresh and cheery, on Harold's arm. She's been a peach ever since – cleaned up well too. Heck, maybe it was because of you – maybe she just missed her favorite punching bag." Gerald chuckled, and immediately stopped at the glare that Phoebe gave him.

"I noticed... I don't think she recognized me though. She just kinda... well. Treated me like a stranger. Then she ran off, and I mean ran – is she on the track team now?" He paused. "Man... _Harold?_ I just... wow..."

"Harold's story is weird too. Remember 'Big Patty?' "

"Yeah, they were dating when I left... what happened?"

"There was some huge mess between him, Patty, and Rhonda. I dunno the details, but Patty didn't speak to him for almost _3 years_, and now she's in college, so... I guess that's not going to happen again."

"_Rhonda?"_

"Yeah, apparently she had some crush on him or something. Don't give me that look – weirder things have happened. Anyway. I need to get home, I'm already out waaay past curfew. My mom's gonna flip. You coming, Phoebe?"

Phoebe nodded and gave Arnold a hug. Gerald watched as she whispered something in Arnold's ear before joining him at the door. "What was that about?"

"Oh nothing, just welcoming him back." Phoebe smiled and walked out with Gerald, arm in arm.

Arnold stared perplexed at the disappearing couple. Phoebe's words played on loop in his head.

'_She recognized you. There's no way _she_ wouldn't recognize _you."

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_Stupid stupid stupid stupid. He recognized you and you acted like a freak. Is that what a _normal _person does? You're so freaking dense and ignorant – of COURSE you would eventually run in to him. And c'mon, running around a corner into him? How cliché can you GET, Helga? Stupid idiot... Maybe I can still play it off as not recognizing him... I mean... he looks identical to how he looked before... just taller and more... damnit NO. Stop thinking about him like that. _

Helga's internal monologue was interrupted by a soft knock on her door. "Helga? Babe? You still awake?"

_Criminy. _

"Yes, Harold. It is almost 4 in the morning, but I am awake." _Why did I give him a key..._

"Cool." _Leave it to Harold to miss subtlety..._ "I was at the party, and I wanted to see you, so I came over." There was clearly more that he wasn't saying, but Helga was in no mood to pry it out of him.

"I dunno, Harold... I'm not feeling so hot, I should probably just go to-"

"Arnold said he saw you."

She froze. _So that's what this is about... _"Oh... was that Ar... him? I didn't recognize him. He got... taller." _C'mon acting skills, don't fail me now!_

"Helga..." Harold lightly chided her. "Don't lie."

"... Okay, I saw him and knew who he was. But I didn't want to talk to him. If _Patty_ waltzed her way back into town, would you immediately jump at the chance to see _her_? I don't think so! You would probably run the other way too! Why does everyone want me to see him and have everything go back to the way it was! I don't! It was torture! I'm finally happy now, I don't want to go back!" Tears welled in Helga's eyes as she panted heavily from her outburst.

Harold walked to her bed and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay, Helga. You don't have to worry. You don't have to talk to him, you don't even have to see him! You can do whatever you want. It's just us! Just the two of us, and no one else!"

Helga felt sick. Harold's arms were around her and she could not breathe. She gently extricated herself from his loving, smothering embrace.

"I'm sorry, Harold. I'm... I'm really not feeling well. I just need to sleep."

"Okay! I'll stay here and sleep with you!" He looked so pleased with himself. _No! Say no, just kick him out, he shouldn't see you like this. _

"... Fine."

She spent the rest of the night wide awake – softly kicking Harold away from her side of the bed, feigning sleep when his own snoring woke him.

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_What did Phoebe mean? _SHE_ wouldn't forget _ME? _I don't understand – what, because she tortured me constantly? No, that makes no sense. I mean... we had known each other for a while... and I... guess we were friends? Sort of? Ugh. Girls are so confusing. _

Arnold was waiting outside of the school for Phoebe. His paperwork had yet to go through, and as such was not in the school system. The doors opened and waves of students poured from the walls. Arnold chuckled at the sight of it, remembering how he used to be one of them. There were many faces, some familiar and some new. In the sea of faces and bodies, he could never find Phoebe's small frame. He gave up and turned to go when a familiar flash of yellow flew in front of his eyes.

"Helga! Wait up!" He ran after her and grabbed her by the shoulder. She spun around, wide eyed, almost scared. "Hey! Helga, it's me - Arnold. We went to PS. 118 together, do you remember?"

"I... uh... Y-yeah. I.. I remember. How's it …going?" Her speech was stilted and awkward. Arnold supposed it w_as_ an awkward conversation to have. Their relationship had always been tenuous at best. He supposed he could not hope for a warm welcome from her.

"It's going great! I uh. I'm living at the boarding house again, my grandparents are doing good, and I don't have school until next week. I'm kind of...lacking for things to do though. You wanna go to Slausen's? We could... get something to drink, and catch up!" Arnold grinned hopefully. _Just because we didn't see eye to eye... or whatever our issue was... that doesn't mean we can't be friends now._

"... Um... yeah... … let's go." Helga smiled cautiously, and Arnold smiled back. _Maybe this wont be so bad._

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_What a crummy day. Flunked a calc quiz, burned breakfast, forgot my lunch, Dad and Miriam came back last night and they're disgusting... I need a freakin' nap. _

"Helga! Wait up!" _Oh God... that voice..._ She shivered involuntarily. A strong hand grasped her shoulder - electricity radiated from where his hand touched her. Her heart ached like a tired muscle, and she turned to face him. "Hey! Helga, it's me - Arnold. We went to PS. 118 together, do you remember?"

_Do I remember? Of course I remember you, Criminy! I was in love with you for over six years! Over the moon, nutso, Coo-coo for Arnold Puffs! … What the hell, Arnold Puffs? You're losing it, Helga. Just play it cool. _ "I... uh... Y-yeah. I.. I remember. How's it …going?" _Oh yeah, that was real cool there, Casanova. Go ahead and sound like a moron. _

"It's going great! I uh. I'm living at the boarding house again, my grandparents are doing good, and I don't have school until next week. I'm kind of...lacking for things to do though. You wanna go to Slausen's? We could... get something to drink, and catch up!"

_Oh God, 'catch up'? What is there to catch up on? 'Gee Arnold, how's it goin'? How're your parents, by the by, did you know what a freaking MESS you made when you left? I went nutso for a while there, yeah – totally fun! Why don't you just kill me now. No, _Arnold_, I don't want to catch up with you, I don't... I do want to see you... I … I can do this. _

"... Um... yeah... … let's go." _I can do this. I can be his friend. Nothing more, nothing less. _

_Oh God, what am I getting myself into..._

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As they left the school grounds, Harold blundered out of the building, looking for Helga. He asked the people around him, who pointed to the couple disappearing around the corner. His eyes narrowed as he began to follow them.

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End Chapter 3

R&R, smooches.


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